Dog Jokes: A Man Walks Into a Bar…

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Question: Why do so many men walk into bars with their dogs?

Answer: (see below)     😉


A man walked into a bar with a Chihuahua under his arm.”I’ll bet anyone in this joint 100 bucks that my dog can talk!” he proclaimed.
The bartender took up the challenge and said “Okay, I’ll bite.”
The man looked at the Chihuahua and asked “What’s on top of this building that keeps the rain from coming in?
“ROOF” replied the pooch.
“Are you nuts?” asked the bartender. “I’m not falling for that!”
“Okay,” said the dog owner. “How about double or nothing? I’ll ask him another question”
The bartender stared at the man and after a few moments slowly nodded his head ‘yes’.
“What does sandpaper feel like?” the man asked the dog.
“RUFF” replied the dog.
Getting angrier by the second, the bartender just glared at the man.
“Just one more try, please?” pleaded the man and, before the bartender could respond, he asked the dog “Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?”
Quickly, the dog replied “RUTH”
Alright, that’s enough!” shouted the bartender, throwing them both out into the street.
The man stood up, dusted himself off, and glared at the Chihuahua. The dog stared back and asked, “Should I have said DiMaggio?”


A man walked into a bar with a Beagle under his arm and loudly announced “This is a talking dog and the first person to give me five bucks for him can have him!”
“What a load of baloney,” said the bartender. “Ain’t no such thing as a talking dog.”
Just then the Beagle looked up sadly and said “Please buy me sir. This man has been very cruel to me. He always buys the cheapest dog food, he makes me sleep in the basement and he never takes me for a walk. When I bring him a toy to play with me he yells at me and tells me I’m a bad dog. He has no idea what a special dog I am. I could make him a lot of money but he just says I’m worthless. When he goes away on vacation he won’t take me with him. He makes me go to this kennel that’s like a jail with cages and bars.” The dog then lowered his head and rested his chin on the bar.”
“Wow!” exclaimed the bartender, “you’re absolutely right! That Beagle can talk!” Then he paused with a concerned look on his face. “So why are you selling him so cheap? He’s right, you could make a lot of money with him”.
The owner replied, “Because I’m just sick of his lies.”


A Dog Walks Into A Bar

A Dog Walks Into A Bar

A man walked into a bar with a Black Lab at his side, tells the dog to sit on the stool next to him, and says to the bartender “Gimme a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels for my best friend Bart”.
Another customer, a huge construction worker, seated three stools down got up and approched the man.
“Get outta here!” he growled “I ain’t gonna drink at the same bar with a danged dog”.
With that the Lab lept from his stool and and started biting at the construction worker’s ankles.
The construction worker responded by pulling out a small pistol and fired, hitting the dog in the foot.
The dog yelped and he and his owner ran out of the bar, the dog limping along on three legs.

Two weeks later the same Lab walked into the same bar, this time without his owner. He was wearing a black cowboy hat, a black vest, black chaps, a black bandage on his wounded foot, and a black gun belt with a pair of pearl handled Colt .45s. He walked up to the bartender and, in a loud voice that everyone in the bar could hear, he drawled “I’m Black Bart and I’m lookin’ for the low down dirty scoundrel that shot my paw”.

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